In the dream, a spark appeared from Baba like a flaming pearl. It was a
delayed message relating to past and present that he apparently had planted
so it would appear when the disciple attended a Homa fire ritual. In the dream, Baba
instructed the disciple not to pay attention to his face but rather to his
inner identity of Shiva worshiping the Mother.
I am Prahladji, but I am also Shiva. I have faith, but I also have yogic
strength. My disciples talk to me as a father but really I am a child. My
earthly parents were cruel but my heavenly parents gave me eternal life.
In the past, we have met and exchanged gazes. I gave you the true mind of
Shiva, he whose awareness permeates the universe. You accepted it and did
not fear it.
Now I am a grain of sand on the shore of a vast ocean that is Ma Kali. I
watch her storms as well as her shining waves. I spent my life starving
and suffering for her. Now she has given me her presence. She is a
little girl of dancing foam and the ancient circle of life.
I still exist. I still have my cosmic telephone. My contact with my
disciples has been limited. It is time for them to be more independent.
The guru is only a guide. I can be one with Shiva, but only he can choose
who can enter that door. I have sat alone with the goddess for many days
and nights, starving and in darkness seeking only her. I have given her my
life and offered all things that I loved into the sacrificial fire. I have
wandered without food and money with only her name on my tongue. And she
has seen how I have suffered for her and she has blessed me.
Now I have no human body. I have only the mind of a devotee who observes
and cherishes his only love. I have taken on many forms to amuse her. I
have been the heroic Arjuna, the loving Radha, the powerful Hanuman, and
the Lord of the Dance. I become the gods to show them to my devotees, but
also to show my love for her and bring others to see her if her mood is
dark.
I bring the blue light of Shiva, the radiant darkness, the clear night with
shining moon and stars. He is her lover, her child, her father- he is
everything to her.
I am the slightest breeze in her vast cosmic thunderstorm. I watch their
dance in wonder. I am a grain of sand on her cosmic shore but suffering
has worn me down to a crystal. In the facets of her spirit, it is her face
and her colors that shine like rainbows. She is Budi Ma, the ancient of
days, and the source of all living things.
To my disciples I say:
You cannot escape her. No matter how much you drink or smoke, no matter how
much you desire things of this world, she awaits you. I can be the bridge
if you are worthy. But she will take your soul and do with it as she
wills. So be ready. Pray, meditate, purify yourself for she will come when
you least expect it.
